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Posted at 10:51 pm on Jan 6, 2011 by: Alvar Creed
How to Squash a Spyder

*A yellow cab is driving through the town, as it nears a large warehouse with a sign reading “Reign” in neon red lettering gleaming from the roof of it. The breaks screech to a halt in front of the building as a well-dressed man pops open the rear door and steps outside. The man brushes off his coat a few times before he heads over to the driver and hands him a wad of cash. The cab driver mumbles his thank you’s, and drives of with the man looking up at the bright neon lettering.
The man then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small folded up piece of paper. After he unfolded the note, he glanced at the writing, then up again at the lettering, as if checking that he had his bearings correct. He then crumples the paper up and tosses it into a nearby trash bin, and then proceeds to walk around to the back of the warehouse. In the back of the building is a large gray door, which the man knocks on casually. A slot opens on the door, as two eyes peer out at the man, who responds by waving his hand and chuckling. The slot shuts and the door pops open, as the man steps through into the vast expanse of the warehouse.*

Man: Hmm…not the nicest club I’ve seen, but I suppose it is suitable due to my past history.

Worker: You tha guy here tah see Mistah Pliars, right?

Man: Well if I wasn’t you should not have let me in, hmm?

Worker: Uhh…yeah. That make you tha guy?

Man: *sigh* Yes…I’m the guy.

Worker: Alright, cool. In dat case Mistah Pliars said to meet him in his office up those steps, to yah right.

*The man strolls over to the staircase and makes his way up the steps. He knock on the door with the name “Edward Pliars” printed on it.*

Pliars: Yeah? Come in, it’s open.

*He turns the knob and enters to see a husky, balding man sitting at a desk, shuffling through some papers*

Pliars: You’re the Operator?

Man: That’s what it says on my tombstone.

Pliars: The boss is in the room over here. Let me unlock it for you.

*Pliars got up from his chair and took a ring of keys out from his right pocket. After sorting through the keys for a moment, he walks over to another door on the wall of his office and unlocks it. The man nods his head at Pliars, as the door is opened for him. As soon as he enters the room, the door is swiftly closed and locked behind him.

The new room is much larger than the office, and this time there isn’t just a sweaty man at a desk. The room was filled with a cavalcade of characters, but one a bit more important than the others. Sitting at a desk in the center of the dimly lit room was none other than former senator of Nevada…Alvar Creed. Wearing a prosthetic mask to disguise his burns for the occasion. He smugly grinned at the man, as he stood up from the desk and addressed him.*



Creed: Well, well, well….if it isn’t the infamous Omar the Operator! Why, I haven’t seen you since…since…

*Creed’s smug quickly contorted into a scowl*

Creed: Since you FAILED me and proceeded to help in the COMPLETE DISMANTLING OF MY POLITICAL CAREER!

Omar: Please, Mr. Creed. I understand you are very bitter that your tenure as senator of Nevada came tumbling down, but I know as well as you that it was not my fault. You did not bring me here to berate me for my failure…you could have easily let me fry in the electric chair, but you didn’t. So if you wouldn’t mind cutting to the chase and introducing me to your associates over here. I already recognize one of them…

*Omar then pointed to one of the men who had a sadistic smile on his face from the very beginning. The man seemed very happy that Omar noticed him and began to speak*

Autocide Al: Omar! Buddy! Chum! Amigo! It has been a long time, huh? How’s the wife? Kids? Dog? Cat? Rabbit?

*Creed than butted into the conversation*

Creed: ALRIGHT, BE QUIET!

*Al shuts his mouth immediately*

Creed: Your own failures aside, Omar, you are correct. I’m not here to hold a grudge against you and your sub-par performance on the Red Spyder mission. Come on now, I’m former senator of Nevada, am I the kind of guy to do that?

*Omar rolls his eyes*

Creed: But to get on with the point, is that I’m giving you, Al, and all the other deranged lunatics in this room one more chance. As much as I hate to relive my own mistakes, I can’t blame everything on your ineptitude. There’s one, rotten piece of trash, who ruined my initiative, and I want him out of commission. Permanently.

*Al jumps up in his place and raises his hand*

Al: Oooh! Oooh! I know! It’s Red Spyder, right? I know its Red Spyder, it’s got to be Red Spyder!

*Creed whips his head around to Al, in a blind fury*

Creed: YES AL! IT’S RED, FUCKING, SPYDER. DO YOU WANT A DAMN COOKIE?!

*Al was about to say he did, but opted to shut up instead*

Creed: *presses his fingers up against his forehead* As I was saying….I’m giving you a second shot at that chainsaw wielding, bastard. Of course, it won’t be the original Serial Squad since they are all pretty much dead…or in a coma. And as much as I don’t like to admit it, you’re still the most intelligent psychopath among all these deranged lunatics. So it looks like you’re going to lead a new squad…one more time. Good deal, huh?

Omar: And I assume these fine gentlemen will comprise this new squad?

Creed: Brilliant! You figure that out all by yourself? Or did you have a cheat sheet?

Omar: There’s no need for the sarcasm, Mr. Creed. I don’t have to lead your little group, so you can settle your petty vendetta.

Creed: That’s where you’re wrong, smart guy. You see…you and every other killer here, is legally dead. The world believes you have all been executed. I admit, I had to pull many, many, strings to smuggle you away, however, so I would be rather PISSED THE HELL OFF if any of you were to back out of my arrangement.

And with that being said, if you were to foolishly turn down my offer, I’d have you all killed on the spot without any repercussions. You are dead to the world anyway, who would give a damn? *Creed laughs*

*Just then one of the other killers in the room spoke up in response to Creed’s offer*

Killer:...What if we would just rather die?

*Creed whips his head around at the killer this time and sneers*

Creed: WELL…if you let me FINISH. I was just about to say what’s in it for you.
Since you were all sentenced to be killed or rot in prison, your lives….were essentially over. If you are able to successfully complete my little assignment I can give you something men only dream of. A new life. You can be free! I’ll set you wild dogs loose on the unsuspecting streets of this world to do whatever you please! Since everyone believes you to be dead, you will no longer need to live with the “law” hounding over you. I murdered the “law” when I arranged for you all to be released into my possession!

*The killers all make murmurs of approval to this idea, as a grin begins to grow on Creed’s face*

Creed: Oh…one more thing, I forgot to mention. Remember those chips I created to keep all the killers in check during my initiative? Of course you do.

I had them planted into each and every one of you before you arrived here. So in reality, you never had a choice in the matter at all! *Creed starts laughing hysterically*

*All the killers smiles of approval, quickly morph into grim frowns*

Creed: So Omar? What do you say? Hahahahaha!

*Omar breathes deeply and nods in approval to Creed*

Creed: Wonderful! So lets start some introductions, shall we?





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