Posted at 4:03 am on Apr 2, 2011 by:
HOLLYWOOD HOOGAN
LET ME TELL YA SUMTHANG...
THE PRECEDING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAYED FOR BY....
Chane McMahon: .... as I was saying....
And then, just like that, the lights flickered on and off. Then through the camera lenses, everything was in black and white!! Chane just stared dumbfounded as an elderly man comes strolling out of the backstage with a backbrace on. It was none other than Hollywood Hoogan from the New Food Order!
Micheal Cole: This is Micheal Cole here, the voice of CreatureWrestling. Now I can't believe my eyes and ears but it is true, that Mr. CreatureWrestling is here.... the Hoogan!!! And let me tell ya, he's not here to serve you hamburgers and french fries.... he's gunna whoop ASS!
Jim Ross: Hollywood is a joke! He was booed out of arenas for falling asleep during matches so the wrestling Board booted his ass BACK to B4Pro! What the hell is he doing here tonight?!
By this time, Hollywood was still twirling in circles while sticking his hand to his ears trying to locate the wrestling ring.... it wasn't until Justin Roberts getting up from his seat and went over to point to the wrestling ring that Hollywood finally saw it with Chane and Brand-X just staring blankly at the idiot!!! Hollywood rolls under the ring and then favors his breaking back from old age and steriod use! His bones cracked soooo loudly that the cracking could be heard way back in row 250. Suddenly, Hollywood grabs the mic from Chane... looks him deep in the eyes with his bloodshot stoned eyes and had something to say.....
15 minutes later, Hollywood is still staring at Chane but in actuality Hollywood fell alseep with his eyes wide open!!!!
Jerry, "The King" Lawler: Well someone cart this old fart out of the ring!
Micheal Cole: That's the will power illuminating from Mr. CreatureWrestling... he's like an assassin ready to ponce on anyone that get's in his way! Even in his sleep he's alert AND DEADLY!!!!
Both Jim Ross and The King stared at Micheal like he has lost his marbels... finally, after Brand-X tickled Hoogan with his long hair under his armpits- that Hoogan giggled his merry ole way back awake!!
Hollywood Hoogan: LET ME TELL YA SUMETHIN BRODER.... I AM MR. CREATUREWRESTLING AND LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING I AM THE BEST DAM WRESTLER LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING EVEN MORE, I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!!
Chane McMahon: Um. Hollywood this isn't a match...
Hollywood stares blankly.... Hoillywood Hoogan: OH. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING IN PLACE OF WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU.... BRAND-X.... I AM ALREADY A PRO!!! I BEEN A PRO MY WHOOOLLLLLEEE [spits in Brand-X's face] ENTIRE 100 YEARS OF LIFE ON THIS GOD'S GREEN PLANET AND LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING I AM READY. I AM READY BRORTHA SO WHAT YA GUNNA DO WHEN HOOGAN GOES APESHIT ON YOU!! I AM READY TO SERVE SOME ASSKICKIN WITH A SIDE OF ASS!!!
