Posted at 2:46 am on Mar 19, 2016 by:
Botch Recliner (Soon-To-Be Champion Champion)
I LIKE CRABS!
The Soon-To-Be Champion Champion walked out, the paper plate belt around his waist. Judging by the stains and smears on the belt, he'd been using it to eat his meals at Cracker Barrel off of. He proceeded to stand on the stage for a couple hours, staring down at the ring as his entrance music played over and over.
"HUH?" Botch Recliner said finally when he seemed to remember where he was and why he was out there.
Giving the Soon-To-Be Champion Championship a lick, leaving crumbs in his bleached facial hair, he waddled down to the ring and tried to roll in, making several attempts before he managed.
"OW!" he said, breathing heavily on the mat.
It was another hour before he started to get to his feet, prompted by one of Staph's crabs trying to wiggle up his nose.
"I KNOW, WANT TO KNOW, WHO I'M FARTING AT CREATUREMANY?" Botch asked, bending over to pick up a crab off the mat and eat it while he waited for a response. "IT'S CHEWY!"
"As I already said Botch, your opponent will be Diper!" Staph said. "She will prove to be quite the challenge for you in the vampire gay bar, but I'm sure you can handle it! Your skills as a CW MegaStar are exactly why you're the Soon-To-Be Champion Champion!"
"SO GET ME GET THIS STRAIGHTENED," Botch said, spitting out the chewed up crab. "AT CW IS MAD, I'LL FLAKE DIPER IN AN UMPIRE GAY BAR. AND DIPPER'S TITLE ARE ON THE LINE. I JUST HOME THERE AREN'T ANY STOOP REDDICKS IN THIS BAR. I HATE REDNECKS. THEY'VE GOT SOME FAAAAAAAAAT ASSES! AND THEY WON'T STAB ME FROM WHINING THAT TITTY FROM FLIPPER!"
Staph just slowly nodded, looking to Chane for assistance as he tried to fling crabs from his sister's vagina off of his hand.
