CreatureWrestling: The Official Darkside E-Fed Est. 1999

Posted at 3:06 am on Jan 27, 2015 by: DARKSPADE

Actually it won't come to that because you won't have limbs anymore to function with!

From the ground view from one of the many sliced, moist and cryptic corpses- we bare witness to Red, now, armed with an assortment of tools for cutting corpses: a rusted pickaxe, a large metallic wire and an arm blade as sharp as fine grains of diamond.

The Guardian of Wickedness, with an evil grin, climbs each and every single rung up the bloodied ladder- up to his first juicy corpse... oh the fine delicacies of rotten death. Red was having too much fun!! oh yes he was! Taking firm hold over the metallic wire-- Red could have easily just slit the first corpse in half in one single stroke-- but no-- no he instead takes it... s l o w l y.... so ever so slowly in order to take in the rotten aroma of death and savor in the absolute delights of blood DRIPPING like a gutted out pig.

Red took a breather, smiled and wished that he had his whiskey right there and then- man this is greater than SEX!

After the first corpse was gutted out- Red sunk his right hand DEEP into the corpse--- awh shucks. NO LUCK!

There was two other corpses now dangling from the ceiling.... 50/50 chance.... and so, Red reaches for one of them not too far while he was still on the very top of the ladder and then reaches for his trusty rusted pickaxe.....

Then at that very moment- The Unholy One rises from the mat- with those focused, white of his eyes he made so infamous with!!! THAT RUSH OF THE EVIL INTENSITY FILLED HIS VEINS!!!!

it was then and there that Darkspade picked up the remaining corpses on the ground, causing the rotten blood and guts dripping down and saturating his body with, and USED THE CORPSES AS A BATTERING RAM SENDING THE LADDER AND RED PLUNGING DOWN TO THE GROUND!!!!

The corpse that Red was about to crack open like a fine easter egg-- falls on top of him-- Darkspade peels himself out of a pile of gore and then reached over to choke the living day-lights out of Red until Red was about to pass out-- the Unholy One picks Red up with ease and then spins him around until he snaps back in a BLOODSTRIKE DDT!!!! Again, Darkspade was enraged!!! Picks up the pickaxe and then SMASHES THE TIP OF THE AXE ACROSS RED'S KNEE CAPS!!! The enjoyable sounds of bones breaking made Darkspade return the smile that Red once had with one of his own!!!!

Micheal Cole: Darkspade is...insane!!!

JBL: I would NEVER get into the same ring with a man that enjoys cracking corpses open!! What the hell were they thinking getting into a sick and twisted match like this!

Jerry, "The King", Lawyer: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!? THESE TWO NEED TO BE LOCKED UP AND THE KEY THROWN AWAY!!

However, Red just laughed which only infuriated Darkspade-- The Unholy One scoops up Red and snaps him backward with a calculated European uppercut and combined that with a swift kick to Red's midsection which caused the Guardian of Wickedness to hunch forward... Spade rolls orthodoxy over Red's back and came onto the other side where the Unholy One flings Red off of his feet by grabbing a hold of Red's left ankle and snapping it, the move was referred to as the Decrypted Lunge... then with Spade finishes up with a classic 'Darkspade' move by dropping the tip of his elbow into Red's adam's apple!!!

Oh it worked!!! Red wasn't laughing anymore!! HE WAS GAGGING FOR AIR!!!!!!

And upon the gaze of a rotten corpse, the one that Red was about to pick open, there in the mouth was a shine.... DARKSPADE SCOOPED UP RED'S PICKAXE AND WENT OVER TO CRACK THE JAW OPEN!

Teeth went flying in all directions- the entire ring was a freak'n puddle of gore!!! And once the jaw was removed- Darkspade reached inside of it to now take out the first key!!!! Quickly- Spade approached the first hatch to the ground - bent down and then with the key he inserted into the lock... it was hard to turn as the key looked like a spoon which once removed from a carved-out pumpkin was saturated with blood and long stringy black strains of human veins and brain fibbers.... and once the key was finally in the hole- with a twist- did there was a sound now ensured.... that the door to the second chamber opened!!!! Darkspade kicks the lock off and as well as use the tip of his black boot- covered with guts-- to reveal the chamber down below..... the camera then eerily depicts the view of Darkspade looking downward into the hole as though he just approached the doorway INTO HELL!!!!