Posted at 1:56 am on Sep 6, 2016 by:
Red Spyder (Guardian of Wickedness)
What can be said? We always have more to offer at CW.
"A board game?!" Red questioned, picking up the Ouija board's cardboard box to look it over briefly before dropping it back to the long table. "We need to unlock the secrets of that stupid fucking belt and you want to play a game! Teenage girls play with these! How's this supposed to help us?"
"What's the matter, Red?" Spade asked in return, his hand remaining on the plastic dial. "Afraid of what the ghost might have to say? Besides, I don't see YOU providing a solution to our problem!"
Huffing, Red took a seat across from Spade and said, "Fine, I'll play. But WHEN this fails, I don't want to hear any whining from you."
"Just put you damn hand on the dial already!" Spade was getting annoyed by Red's hesitance. When he complied, Spade said, "Spirit of the Absolute Undisputed Championship! Can you hear us?"
"Maybe we need a candle," Red suggested after a few moments of no response from the wooden board.
"Shhh!" Spade said, trying to focus on the board and just then, the dial began to slide.
"Are you doing that?!" Red asked, pulling back as much as he could from the board without removing his big fingers from the dial.
"SHHH!" Spade repeated and Red finally shut up, watching the board as well to see what the spirit had to say.
Still in his office with Botch Recliner a month later, Alexander was waiting for Botch's response to his advice.
"HUH? SO URINE SAME THAT IF I, BITCH CLOTHESLINER, BECOME THE SLUT OF MY BAND, DARTHSHAVE WILL GET A SHIT AT MY ABSINTHE TITTY?" Botch said as he, for some reason, pulled his cum-stained tights down to his thick ankles, exposing himself to Alex.
Alex started to look away, but when he realized there was nothing to see, Botch's crotch resembling that of a Barbie doll, he just stared, squinting. The sight was possibly more disturbing than what there would be if Botch had anything close to a normal-sized penis.
"Uhhhhhhhhh... something like that," Alex answered, finally tearing his eyes away. "Can you leave now? I'm sure Staphanie would love to hear about this meeting."
"HUH? WHORE'S STAPH INFECTION?" Stepping out of his tights entirely, Botch walked over to a large mirror hanging on one wall. Upon seeing himself in the mirror, he flexed his peaks and said, "HUH? WHOOP ARE YOU LOOGIE AT, MUFFLERFUDGER? I'LL LEECH YOU KICK MY ASS ALL HOOVER THIS ANAL!"
