Posted at 1:18 am on Dec 4, 2016 by:
Red Spyder (Guardian of Wickedness)
Yeah, okay, Mr. Premium Juice.
"Ugh, the smell... I can't get it out of my nose!" Red said a short time later, halfway up a long staircase as they continued trying to find Angel and lil Red.
"Try not to think about it, mate," Brand-X said ahead of them. Between them was Spade, an intentional placement to make sure he didn't try to wander off again. "It's too late for him now anyway..."
"God damn, how long are these stairs?!" Red then said, getting more annoyed by the second that they couldn't find his family. "Do they lead directly into Staphanie's gaping vagina?"
"It'd explain why each step is so sticky..." Spade responded, sounding a little nauseous at the thought that they were walking through Staph's crab juices.
"I'd wonder why there aren't any guards in here, but I guess they figure no one would be desperate enough to break in here," Brand-X said, pausing to catch his breath. "Especially after going through that courtyard of erotic death."
When they resumed walking, they found that they actually didn't have much further to go, finally reaching the top of the stairs. At the top was a giant vagina. It was possibly a door, despite the lack of a doorknob. They hoped it was a door.
"I hate this place," Spade said, rubbing the plates of his title belt for comfort.
"We'll destroy it on our way out, mate," Brand-X said, thinking of the explosives they brought along. "We'll be doing everyone a favor with that."
Red said nothing, instead taking out the monster beef.
"This is NOT the time for that, Red!" Spade said as he stepped closer to Brand-X to avoid the beef. "Put it away before you catch something else!"
Red didn't put it away, instead stroking the beef to life. Spade and Brand-X could only watch in both disgust and fascination as the beef slithered into the stone vagina. It disappeared deeper until Red was forced to plant himself against the wall, balls deep in the vagina.
"That's it, cum on..." Red said, urging the beef to continue working.
Suddenly there was a loud click and Red stopped his wall humping, though he was still buried in the vagina.
"What was that, mate?" Brand-X asked as a low rumble kicked in.
Before any of them could try to figure out what happened, each step folded downward, forming a large slide.
"OH SHIT!" all three men said as they were thrown back down the long stairwell, the monster beef still hanging out.
Eventually, the slide ended and they landed on something slippery and rubbery in a dark room. It wasn't the same room they started climbing the stairs in.
After a moment, a light came on and Red and Spade saw Brand-X standing a few feet away next to a switch. They also saw that they'd landed on a pile of used sex toys, from butt plugs to fleshlights. Screaming as if they were on fire, Red and Spade jumped to their feet as well, frantically brushing at their skin.
"Why is this even a thing?!" Red asked, picking a dead crab off of his shirt.
"Because the McMahons are the nastiest people alive!" Spade answered, shuddering as he stepped even further away from the mound of unwashed toys.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT NOISE?" they heard Staphanie screech, her voice sounding even louder than before.
"We must be getting close to them, mates," Brand-X whispered, not daring to speak louder and possibly aggravate her further.
Still asleep, Botch scooped up Alexander from the floor and sat him down on a nearby bench, which was strangely a seemingly normal bench and not penis shaped.
The elevator doors slid shut just in time as crabs began landing on top of the elevator. If they were still alive, it wouldn't be long before they had the doors open. Overhead, they could hear another explosion as well as debris from the bombed section of the CW HQ raining down.
As Alex stared off into space in shock, Gunther decided to begin a new, private concert, doing the ding dong right in Alex's face.
"SHUT UP!" Botch said to Gunther before stepping between him and Alex. "LISTEN UP, MR. ARCANE! WE'RE IN SOME DEEP SHIT HERE! YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT TIME TRAVEL? WELL I'M READY TO GO!"
"HUH?" Alex said, looking at Botch. "Oh... umm... yeah..."
Alexander clearly wasn't ready just yet to figure out how to return to their time and Botch forgot about it too for a moment when he heard scratching coming from inside the elevator. He and Gunther both looked at the elevator doors and watched as they were slowly pried open. Once the doors were open enough, crabs began pouring out, some of them slightly burned from the explosion.
While there was no sign of Staphanie or anyone else, Botch knew they had to get away and picked both Alex and Gunther up, one over each of his massive shoulders. He started running, hoping to find refuge from the crab army.
