Posted at 1:21 am on Oct 11, 2016 by:
Red Spyder (Guardian of Wickedness)
It's like Lilith all over again.
Even Botch seemed baffled by Staphanie's fucked up match proposal.
"HUH? I'LL MACE LOVE TO YOUR MOTHER AND DIM THE CW MEGADETH WILL KNOW WHO THE TOO WEINER IS!" Botch said, stroking his micropenis in preparation.
Staph giggled at the thought, the crabs that now formed her body quivering in response, before she said, "You're on, Botch! But if you lose, you will NEVER, EVER SUCK MY COCK AGAIN!"
Alex didn't know what was going to happen next. Were he and Botch going to fight Chane and Staph? Was Chane going to roll out their mother for Botch to have his way with? Would he wake up from his nightmare?
No match began. Instead, Staph spread her ass cheeks and shit out more of her shitting crabs, moaning in pleasure as they splattered all over the ring, leaving tiny brown streaks on the already gross mat.
"Okay, this it just too fucked up!" Alex said, stepping away from the shitting crabs that filled the ring.
He was going to leave the room. Maybe find a gun and shoot himself to escape. He paused however when Botch, having fallen asleep in exhaustion after jacking off Gunther for 14 years, ran at Staph and grabbed her from behind, driving her into the mat with a German suplex. Staph exploded on impact, crabs flying everywhere and her plastic tits landing at Alex's feet, spurting sour milk out at him. He could only stare as Botch climbed back to his feet, as streaked as the mat with crab shit, and the crabs began to slowly come back together to rebuild Staph's human form.
"Fine!" Red said, throwing his hands up in frustration. "NOW will you tell us where they are?"
"You're just agreeing without knowing the consequences of such an action?!" Darkspade asked, gripping the Absolute Undisputed title.
"Yes!" Red said, looking away from the figure at Spade. "I'll do whatever it takes to get my family back! You won't?"
"We're talking to a spirit that came out of a title belt!" Spade said, throwing the Ouija board's crayon at Red. "Aren't you wondering WHY it wants us to destroy the belt? Didn't you learn anything from the trouble you caused by hanging around Lilith?!"
"... What's that supposed to mean?!" Red asked, throwing the crayon back at Spade.
"It means quit thinking with your monster beef!" Spade said, snapping the crayon in half.
"... Fine." Red said, turning in his chair to look at the figure again. "Spirit, nothing bad's going to happen if we destroy the belt for you, right? Like... ending the world?"
