Posted at 5:17 am on Sep 18, 2016 by:
Botch Recliner (Soon-To-Be Champion)
YOU CAN GET AWAKE FROM THE SUE-TO-BEAN ABOOT DISPUTED CHAIN!
Alexander did his best to avoid looking at dual ding donging, but it was difficult. Gunther's oozing ding dong bounced along and Botch's micro ding dong probably was doing the same as best it could. At some point, Botch grabbed Gunther's ding dong and flexed his peaks, causing Gunther to ding dong faster.
"STOP!" Alex yelled at both of his employees. "YOU'VE GOT TO STOP!"
He continued his yelling and they continued ding donging until 2030. At this point, CW was nearing bankruptcy since Alex had been rendered unable to deal with the rest of the company while Botch and Gunther occupied his office. For some reason, the only song he'd heard on loop for almost a decade finally came to an end.
"Oh thank god," Alex said, trying to stand up from his desk, his leg muscles weakened severely from sitting for so long. "Is it finally over?!"
"HUH? EVERBUY KNOWS, WANKS TO KNOW, WHORE I AM?" Botch said, finally releasing Gunther's ding dong, the cuffs long ago rusted away by sweat and semen.
Darkspade and Red Spyder looked up at each other after receiving the first real words of the belt's spirit.
"Holy shit, it actually works!" was all Red managed to say.
Looking back down at the board, Spade left the dial alone and asked, "Spirit, can you help us? Can you reveal to us the things we need to know?"
He clinched the pink Crayon to almost a crushing point in anticipation of the spirit's next response.
YES
Before he could ask for more, Red interrupted with, "Spirit, is it true that I'm better than Darkspade in every way possible?"
Spade gripped the Crayon in preparation to ram it into one of Red's eye sockets when the dial moved again, spelling out far more than a few letters and ignoring Red's question entirely.
