Posted at 9:53 pm on Dec 13, 2016 by:
Botch Recliner (Soon-To-Be Champion)
HUH? YOU'RE SICK AND SO IS THIS POST!
Botch walked up to the crab-oozing Staphanie feminist on the stage. Under normal, awake circumstances, he would have offered her his room numb and flexed his peaks at her.
Instead, he let out a loud, "HUH? SHUT UP!"
Between this and Gunther having climbed on top of the bar, stripping himself naked and shaking his blistered ding dong at any Staphanie who dared to look in his direction, no one noticed Alexander. This gave him a chance to wander further into CreatureHaven, careful to not touch anything, already grossed out by how the floor was making the bottom of his shoes sticky.
In a back room, he discovered a locked cell, cautiously stepping closer to it in case it was a trap. He soon saw that the floor of the cell was littered with severed heads. A few he recognized as former employees of CW, including CM Punk. Trying to see farther back into the cell, he realized that there was someone standing in a dark, back corner.
"Hey, who is that?" Alex asked, stepping as close to the cell as he could without actually touching the gooey bars. "I'm not one of them. Maybe I can help you get out of there."
His words attracted the attention of the figure and they slowly walked out of the shadows. Covered in clumps of blood and shit, their legs were as hairy as a gorilla's and their penis was shriveled, yet they also had boobs. Held up to each boob were the severed heads of Donald Grump and Hillary Cliton.
"Diper?!" Alex said, quickly stepping away from the cell as she got closer to him. He realized that she was milking herself with the heads, the milk dripping from their necks. "I thought you died at CreatureMania 13? But of course... not even these clones want anything to do with you."
"YANNO, I REMEMBER YOU!" Diper said, pressing Grump and Cliton's heads harder against her saggy boobs in pleasure. "COME TO SUCKLE ON MAMA TOO?"
Alex was frozen in fear and when Diper realized he wasn't coming any closer, she dropped the heads to the floor, revealing the long hairs growing from her nipples. Instead, she spread her ass cheeks and began to dig her claws in to find a gift for Alex. The smell of shit filling the room was enough to knock Alex out of his daze and he ran out. He slammed the door behind him just in time as a ball of shit came flying his way, smashing against the door instead of his face.
"Is nowhere safe in this hell?" he asked himself as he wandered back into the main room of the bar, the sound of the music drowning out the shrieks of Diper, only the see Botch suplex the Staphanie clone off of the stage, sending the pages her vagina crab poems were written on flying through the air.
The clones were split between staring at Botch and staring at Gunther, moving closer to both of them, some grabbing weapons such as crusty forks.
